Sat 27
Reading
3
-
2
League
Ladies 1st XI
Title

Title

By K MF
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On previous visits to Sonning Lane, we’ve been treated to:

  • Alex B-M getting so totally lost that she parked in a field and ran the rest of the way
  • Someone (Lucy?) crashing into the occupied men’s changing rooms
  • Zelda neglecting to inform a member of our squad that she’d been selected then wondering why said teammate wasn’t present (note: she never played for us again)
  • Mel turning up sans balls
  • A pigeon lightening its load directly into Tri’s ear
  • Some actual hockey – our 4-3 victory when they were in Prem being the highlight.

But this time? Nothing. Everyone arrived on time(ish). No-one left their kit at home. Ellen wouldn’t even wear the stunning protective nose mask we bought for her, for light relief. So here are some haiku:

Whistle! The game starts.
They score, reverse, tight angle:
Applause emoji.

They score again, damn.
Corner. Average dragflick -
Some poor goalkeeping.

Half time: Jelly snakes!!!!!
Omar: not happy. Deserved.
Two goal gap: nothing!

Then, we score! Game on.
Short corner, Abbie sweeps home –
Can we turn it round?

No. Reading score again.
3-1, deflected corner,
Very annoying.

Hang on though! We score!
Tri, prone, stick as snooker cue
Prods ball over line*.

Whistle! The game ends.
Another valiant loss;
Bring on Saturday.

Additional notes:

  • 4.30 pushbacks should be outlawed
  • Sandra waltzed off to Amsterdam having left her bag of dirty kit in the changing room for Michelle to deal with – this will be remembered.
  • Tri’s taking us all on holiday with her accumulator winnings
  • Stubbsy smelled great (source: Stubbsy)

MOM: Sophie, for another superlative performance (her attempt to score a second own goal excepted)
DOTD: Sophie, for swearing at the ball patrol (which may or may not have happened)

*I know, I know, it’s grammatically clumsy, whatcha gonna do

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Match details

Match date

Sat 27, Oct 2018

Kickoff

16:30

Competition

Investec Conference West

League position

7
Reading
8
Barnes